Don't ever put power in other people's hands about your life and that is the Court of the Day

of the Day Show. I'm your host Sean Crox and a Sean Crox and dot com. Today's feature speaker is a brand new speaker. Dr. Lonnie Nelson Zlepco. And today the doc is teaching you three things that are keeping you stuck and how you can get unstuck. Here's Dr. Lonnie.

Let's take a look. First step. Let's say you've been stuck for too long and you want to get moving. I said get moving and get on the arrow. What is the arrow?

Here's the tip. The arrow is about 180 degrees the opposite of whatever you're experiencing as your problem. You get moving and you get started. Pick an adjective or an experience. Right? That's 180 degrees the opposite start making that your goal. A lot of my clients come in and they know exactly what they hate about their lives.

Then I say to them so what do you want? What do you want experience? Well, I don't want to have this. All right, well, we're not going to be able to study not having that until we have name of what we want. So let's name it and let's get on the arrow. Let's take Deborah.

Deborah needs to start learning how to redirect her children in calm, effective ways. Is this learnable? Yes, it is. She needs her children to learn how to be cooperative. Is that learnable? Yes, it is.

Keith needs to learn how to get recognized and appreciated and promoted. Is that learnable? Apparently he was born with that gene, but guess what? He can learn it. He can study it. He can make that happen.

The next thing we need to do is watch out for all or nothing polarized to thinking. This is when we say things like I'm a good mom or I'm a bad mom. I have good kids. I have bad kids. My boss loves me. My boss hates me.

This is unproductive. It doesn't point to any growth whatsoever and it's going to keep you stuck. Get on the arrow. I don't know anybody that's perfect in every area. I don't know anybody that's a complete failure in any area. Right? We're all on the arrow. We're all learning becoming a little bit better.

We're becoming a little bit better. We want to say, do I yell a lot at my kids? I'm yelling at my kids. I want to learn how to be more effective tomorrow. Keith says, you know what I need to do? I've got to overlook three times in a row. I'm going to get myself invited to a key meeting this week where I share my talents out loud. This is what we want to make happen.

We're going to experience bumps and I laugh my clients say, this is not a bump. This is a catastrophe. It's a bump. Let's watch our words. It's a bump. Now, when we experience a bump, what we need to make sure we watch out for is the idea that it's the end. It's the end of us. It's complete ruin. We've got to watch out and view it as an opportunity.

I am aware that the problem that you might be experiencing right now might not feel like a bump. I am also aware just like you are that there have been people that you know that have not done well on the other side of that bump.

I do know that. But I want you to understand that that is an option, not a sentence. That's an option and it is one I do not endorse. No matter how big your bump is, no matter what your bump is, we want to see it as a bump that not only we can move forward from, but we can thrive on the other side.

I know somebody is going to throw a tomato at me right about now and say, but wait, you haven't met my problem. You clearly don't know my teenagers or my boss or my cancer diagnosis.

There's going to be at least three hangups that show up in this process that are going to keep you unnecessarily stuck. The first is ego. You know what ego says?

I know you've studied tens of thousands of people and observed who can move on, but you know what my version of this problem is so special. It's so unique that I'm not going to be able to get over it.

So all those other people, yada yada, thousands of people, blah, blah, blah, blah. My was handcrafted by the universe to torture me because it's very special. So I'm just going to stay here devastated by my problem.

The next hangup is going to be fear. Fear really has the same voice no matter who we are. Fear says it's not going to work. It won't happen. I can't get better. I am basically in a catastrophe in a downward spiral and I'm going to wind up in a van by the river. That's where fear goes. It doesn't matter what the problem unless you have kids and then you wind up in, they're going to head to juby. That's pretty much where to. And not only are we going to wind up there, but I don't know if you know this, but apparently that is a permanent location that nobody ever gets out of. Right.

It is permanent. It is catastrophic and it is fatal. That's what fear tell is it? Apparently we're all still here. So fear lies. Right. The next hangup is going to be pride and it sounds a little bit like this. I don't need to turn and learn. Okay. I'm doing everything right. I show up every day doing the right things and apparently I've hit this wall. So I'm just going to wait for the wall to move.

All right. If those kids, they just better learn how to respect me. Right. Or that boss, that boss just should appreciate me. Okay. So I'm just going to have a staring contest at this wall until something else changes.

What do we say to pride? Listen up pride. First of all, if you're doing everything right, it shouldn't hurt quite this bad.

Second of all, don't ever put power in other people's hands about your life. All right. If you have something that is making you less than you,

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