141: How Do Stop Riding My Kid's Emotional Roller Coaster?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 24 October 2023

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent writes in about a middle schooler's intense emotional swings which leave the parent feeling uncertain about how to respond. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the psychology of these rollercoaster emotions, discuss whether this behavior is typical at this age, and address how parents can strike the delicate balance of offering support without amplifying the mood swings. Dr. Lisa also explains how parents and caregivers can know when they are looking at typical emotional growing pains and when it’s time to be concerned. Join us for our first Ask Lisa LIVE streaming event. Nov 6th, Monday, 8pm est Buy tickets at: https://stagepilot.com/asklisa Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes. https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.
0:10.7	It's a podcast to help parents better understand their kids. Dr. Lisa DeMore, a psychologist with three
0:17.2	decades of experience, and the author of three New York Times best-selling parenting
0:21.8	books takes your questions. Both of us are moms ourselves, and we're eager to hear from you.
0:27.1	So send us your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.LisaDemore.com. And you can join our community by
0:32.8	following us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The handle is Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:38.3	And also subscribe to our brand new YouTube channel, Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:43.4	Episode 141, how do I stop riding my kids' emotional roller coaster?
0:52.0	So how's a school you're treating you?
1:02.4	You know, Rina. Here's the thing. I spend all like early fall thinking like, oh my gosh, I can't wait for the routines to kick in. The routines are going to be
1:06.5	the thing that holds me together. And then I soon start to feel trapped by the routines. I find them
1:13.3	tedious. So I'm like on the brink of tedium. How about you? Yeah, no, I totally feel you on that.
1:20.0	But what do you recommend for parents at this point in the school year? I know it's still early,
1:24.5	but I'm always like, I wonder what Lisa's doing right now.
1:32.6	I think really trying to take a broad perspective on this.
1:42.0	I mean, I've got a kid who's now a sophomore in college, you know, and I think it's such a gift as a parent when you have seen the full trajectory of kids leaving home.
1:47.8	So I am trying to savor the oppressive routine of having school.
1:54.0	Well, I've got two middle schoolers, so there is a lot of energy around my house right now.
2:00.9	And I thought this letter, Lisa, that we got about riding your kids' emotional rollercoaster, I thought, isn't it perfect timing right now to be doing this? I want to read it to you. It says, dear Dr. Lisa and Rina, my middle schooler has
2:06.1	emotional swings that I would say are extreme. I often find myself being taken for a ride only to
2:11.6	realize later that what might have been at the root of that swing was either not grounded in reality
2:17.3	or not as bad as I
	...

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