#141 - Building Better Relationships

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Marriage, Mental Health, Success, Emotionalintelligence, Selfhelp, Wellness, Mentalhealth, Selfimprovement, Career, Health, Society & Culture, Careerdevelopment, Mindfulness, Lifeadvice, Dating, Parenting, Breakups, Relationships, Productivity, Positive, Happiness, Goals, Health & Fitness, Communication

4.6 • 849 Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2019

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Building Better Relationships: Have you ever left relationship books laying around, or put a relationship podcast on hoping that a certain someone may reflect on their own behavior and be a better partner or friend for you? Have you ever dropped a hint (or SEVEN) to a coworker, boss, or friend about how you feel in your relationship with them, and how you hope they might change?

So often, we feel helpless around how to improve our relationships, because we feel like the quality of our relationships depends on what other people are doing or not doing.

It may sound counter-intuitive, but by focusing on your own "soft skills" you can transform your relationships single-handedly.

Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm taking to my colleague (and relationship expert) Kathleen Carroll-Stutts about how to do that. Kathleen is a life coach, individual therapistand couples counselor here on the team at Growing Self. She is the facilitator of our Relationship Skills Group, and is here today to share her system for how to develop yourself so that you can build better relationships with the most important people in your life.

Listen to our interview to learn how to develop the communication skills and relationship skills that can help you build better relationships. Specifically:

Foundational Relationship Skills

Self awareness -How understanding yourself, your needs, your feelings and your personal values can help you build better relationships with others.
Emotional regulation -How being able to manage your feelings can help you communicate more effectively in relationships.
Self respect -How having healthy self-esteem and self-love helps you have stronger and more authentic relationships.
Assertiveness -How to develop your voice and your truth in order to communicate your needs, rights and feelings to others.

Intermediate Relationship Skills

How to improve your communication skillsby cultivating both self-expression skills as well as listening skills.
Setting boundaries -How to set appropriate and healthy limits with others.
How to manage conflict.

Advanced Communication Skills and Relationship Skills

Identifying our triggers -How to use our self-awareness, self-respect, and communication skills to avoid situations that would be bad for us and bad for our relationships.
Empathy -Learning how to understand the needs, rights, feelings and perspectives of others, and how to use that awareness to improve communication and build better relationships.
How to cope with relationship challengesincluding dealing with toxic people, how to deal with criticism, and what to do with bullies.

We sincerely hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast helps to give you some direction for building better relationships in your life!

xo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Kathleen Carroll Stutts, M. Ed., LPC

www.growingself.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast.
0:11.1	I'll never keep away from all of you.
0:19.2	I'll never be considered one.
0:25.6	I've got to wish upon We're not for gone.
0:40.3	Say something, say something good.
0:46.3	I've got to hand it, but there's really a better thing.
0:50.3	Say something, say something.
0:53.3	That's Derek Clegg with Say. Say something. Such a cute song.
0:55.1	That's Derek Clegg with Say Something.
0:59.6	And he is our inspiration for today's podcast because today we are going to be talking
1:07.0	about how to empower you to build better relationships with others.
1:14.6	I feel like this is such an important topic because so much of the time people really
1:22.3	genuinely, I know I've felt this way, feel disempowered in our relationships, specifically around the
1:30.9	ability to change our relationships for the better.
1:34.7	You know, so often people really legitimately feel like the only way to improve their
1:40.6	relationships is to somehow get the other person to listen and change what the other
1:49.1	person is doing or not doing. And it leads to feelings of frustration and resentment and disappointment
1:59.1	when you feel over and over again like you're not getting your needs
2:03.7	met in relationships or people aren't listening to you or people aren't communicating well with you
2:10.2	or they're asking things of you that are unreasonable or just being annoying you know and so so often is the case, you know, like with couples, people, I think every person that has
2:23.7	ever darkened my door for couples counseling comes and sits on the couch and wants to tell
2:30.0	me how their partner is causing the problems in their relationship and they believe it.
	...

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