#137 - Boundaries: The Holiday Edition

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Marriage, Mental Health, Success, Emotionalintelligence, Selfhelp, Wellness, Mentalhealth, Selfimprovement, Career, Health, Society & Culture, Careerdevelopment, Mindfulness, Lifeadvice, Dating, Parenting, Breakups, Relationships, Productivity, Positive, Happiness, Goals, Health & Fitness, Communication

4.6 • 849 Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2018

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Your Holidays Will Be Good When Your Boundaries Are.

In case you hadn't noticed the towering pumpkin displays in the grocery store, the catalogues and coupons clogging your mailbox, or the tinsel-spangled interiors of every store you dare step foot in... the holidays are upon us.

The holidays can be so amazing: Its the time to expand our souls, embrace generosity and good will, enjoy the warmth of our families and friends, and be grateful for the wonderful relationships in our lives. And... as you well know, holidays can also be fraught with stress, overwhelm, overspending, and tense moments with family members.

In my experience as both a marriage counselor and therapist (as well as personally) the "dark side" of the holiday experience often happens when people struggle to hold healthy boundaries.

The Usual Suspects:

Too Soft: When people are too passive and boundary-less they often wind up feeling put-upon, mistreated or disrespected by family members (or partners!) -- and resentments brew. Not fun, particularly when suppressed seething bubbles over in passive aggressive comments, or bursts out in straight up hostility.
Too Hard: When people are too rigid with their boundaries, friends and family members may feel put-upon, mistreated or disrespected by them -- and tempers flare. It's not fun to feel like people are irritated and put off by you, and have no idea why.
Unclear: When people struggle to hold healthy boundaries with themselves, they overcommit time and energy, have unrealistic expectations of themselves and overspend -- leaving themselves feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, and emotionally (and financially) depleted by the time New Year's rolls around. Not fun at all.

Because these kinds of boundary problems are so common (and so darn avoidable, with advance planning) I thought I'd put together some holiday-specific boundary advice on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

I'm sharing some tools to help you get your boundaries "just right," and enjoy yourself this year.

I sincerely hope that it helps you avoid the pitfalls and enhance all the wonderful moments that the month ahead has to offer.

From me to you,

Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

Music Credits: Ty Segall, "Ceasar"

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bavi, and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast.
0:06.0	Music I'll make us tell her with you.
0:23.6	Tbilts, there's
0:25.6	travel here.
0:32.6	Tye Segal, everybody, with Caesar.
0:35.6	What does that have to do with today's topic?
0:38.8	Nothing.
0:39.5	I just like that song and I wanted to share it with you.
0:42.5	So today we're going to be talking about boundaries again.
0:47.3	I thought it would be timely for me to do a holiday edition of the Boundary Talk
0:53.5	because in my experience, I would say probably
0:58.0	90% of the stress and overwhelm and fighting and angst that come along with the holidays, that
1:06.9	can be the dark side of the holidays, are due to boundaries.
1:11.3	Either people not keeping good boundaries for themselves or running into boundary stuff with
1:17.7	their families, kids.
1:20.5	And so figured we would talk about it again today as we're swinging into the holiday season
1:25.6	so that you can have more fun, more good times,
1:30.0	and less stress and frazzle around your holiday. So talking about boundaries today.
1:36.2	If this is your first time listening to the love, happiness, and success podcast, welcome.
1:41.7	I'm glad that you found us. I'm Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. My background, I'm trained
1:48.2	as a psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, and I'm a board certified life coach,
1:53.2	and I'm the founder of growing self-counseling and coaching in Denver, Colorado. And I started
	...

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