Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.

It's a podcast to help parents better understand their kids. Dr. Lisa DeMore, a psychologist with three

decades of experience, and the author of three New York Times best-selling parenting

books takes your questions. Both of us are moms ourselves, and we're eager to hear from you.

So send us your questions to ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com. And you can join our community by

following us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The handle is at Lisa Podcast. And also subscribe to our

brand new YouTube channel, Ask Lisa Podcast. Episode 135, how do I combat my kids' perfectionism?

You know, when you go back and you kind of wish you could relearn some skills in your teenage years, for me, it's organization.

Like, why am I not better organized?

Well, I mean, I do think you're organized, but I don't think you're organized in conventional ways.

And by conventional, I mean my boring, want my desk perfectly clear.

But I want to be that person who has everything perfect and organized.

And I don't know.

But I also feel like being so organized boxes me in a little.

That's the issue, right?

That's why I like the way you're organized, which is that you've got this, like, kind of creative flow that I don't always have or I often don't have. And so I sort of feel like, let's just begin to each other's yangs here. I love that. I will be my, like, you know, super clear desk and maybe track my little details in my little way and you will bring your brilliant creativity

and flow that I think together works quite well. You always help me see. You know, you always

make the silver lining in the cloud that's gray. I love it. We got this letter from this mom

who is talking about her kid's perfectionism. And I just thought this was really

fascinating. It says, Dear Dr. Lisa, I've listened to all your podcasts and I'm grateful for your

expertise, wisdom, and empathy towards teens and parents. My 13-year-old daughter battles

perfectionism. When she does not succeed in an oftentimes unrealistic goal she sets, she's

...