135: How Do I Combat My Kid's Perfectionism?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2023

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to depression. In an episode packed with practical strategies and sample language, Dr. Lisa and Reena address how to help kids take a balanced approach to their work. ________________ Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.
0:10.9	It's a podcast to help parents better understand their kids. Dr. Lisa DeMore, a psychologist with three
0:17.2	decades of experience, and the author of three New York Times best-selling parenting
0:21.8	books takes your questions. Both of us are moms ourselves, and we're eager to hear from you.
0:27.1	So send us your questions to ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com. And you can join our community by
0:32.8	following us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The handle is at Lisa Podcast. And also subscribe to our
0:39.7	brand new YouTube channel, Ask Lisa Podcast. Episode 135, how do I combat my kids' perfectionism?
0:51.5	You know, when you go back and you kind of wish you could relearn some skills in your teenage years, for me, it's organization.
0:59.5	Like, why am I not better organized?
1:02.2	Well, I mean, I do think you're organized, but I don't think you're organized in conventional ways.
1:06.9	And by conventional, I mean my boring, want my desk perfectly clear.
1:12.8	But I want to be that person who has everything perfect and organized.
1:18.0	And I don't know.
1:19.9	But I also feel like being so organized boxes me in a little.
1:24.1	That's the issue, right?
1:25.2	That's why I like the way you're organized, which is that you've got this, like, kind of creative flow that I don't always have or I often don't have. And so I sort of feel like, let's just begin to each other's yangs here. I love that. I will be my, like, you know, super clear desk and maybe track my little details in my little way and you will bring your brilliant creativity
1:46.2	and flow that I think together works quite well. You always help me see. You know, you always
1:52.3	make the silver lining in the cloud that's gray. I love it. We got this letter from this mom
1:57.4	who is talking about her kid's perfectionism. And I just thought this was really
2:01.3	fascinating. It says, Dear Dr. Lisa, I've listened to all your podcasts and I'm grateful for your
2:05.4	expertise, wisdom, and empathy towards teens and parents. My 13-year-old daughter battles
2:10.8	perfectionism. When she does not succeed in an oftentimes unrealistic goal she sets, she's
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.