134 - Napoleon MF'n Bonaparte!

Timesuck with Dan Cummins

Dan Cummins

True Crime, Society & Culture, Religion, Conspiracies, History, Biographies, Education, Adult Humor, Comedy, Dark Humor, Conspiracy, Cults

4.7 • 21.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2019

⏱️ 132 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Napoleon! A man who knew before he died he would be remembered as being one of the most important European leaders in history - and boy was he right. He's regarded by many military historians as being one the best military strategists of all time. Dude was SUPER hard to beat on the battlefield but he was defeated several times - mostly because pretty much every other nation in Europe joined forces and ganged up on France to defeat him. He'd be born on a little island not bothering anyone and he'd die on a little island not bothering anyone over fifty years later. In between - he'd bother a LOT of people. He'd lead millions to their deaths, rise to rule France not once, but twice, and do so, so, so much more. And he's our topic of the week, here on Timesuck! Donate to our charity of the month! Cameron Owens National Fallen Firefighter’s Foundation Stair Climbhttp://events.firehero.org/site/TR?px=1053239&fr_id=2061&pg=personal TEAM MONK GOFUNDME LINK: https://www.gofundme.com/f/team-monk Upcoming Happy Murder Tour Standup dates: April 11th Des Moines, Iowa - The Funny Bone CLICK HERE for tix! April 12-13 Kansas City, Missouri - The Improv CLICK HERE for tix! ** LIVE ANT HILL KIDS CULT TIMESUCK April 14 Nashville - Zanies CLICK HERE for tix! April 26th Dallas, Texas The Texas Theatre CLICK HERE for tix! April 27th Houston, Texas The Secret Group CLICK HERE for tix! May 1-4 San Francisco, CA Punchline Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix! May 9-11 Boston, MA Laugh Boston Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix! Listen to the best of my standup on Spotify! (for free!) https://spoti.fi/2Dyy41d Timesuck is brought to you by the following sponsors: Indochino! Get any premium Indochino suit for just $359 at Indochino.com when you use the code TIMESUCK at checkout (AND you get free shipping!) The Great Courses Plus! Get your Free Trial, plus 50% off your monthly plan now at TheGreatCoursesPlus.com/TIMESUCK Watch the Suck on Youtube!: https://youtu.be/xzi_Gu2gwaU Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 4000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits

Transcript

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0:00.0	Legendary French Emperor Napoleon, mother fucking Bonaparte.
0:04.6	That is the man we're talking about today.
0:06.8	An important historical figure who knew he would be an important historical figure.
0:11.5	He once wrote,
0:12.4	histories a set of lies that people have agreed upon.
0:15.1	Even when I am gone, I shall remain in people's minds, the star of their rights,
0:19.2	my name will be the war cry of their efforts, the motto of their hopes.
0:23.6	Dude had no shortage of confidence,
0:26.6	which is part of why he became the namesake of the Napoleon complex.
0:30.4	A complex characterized by overly aggressive or domineering social behavior,
0:35.3	carries the implication that such behavior is compensatory for the subject's stature.
0:40.2	Nailed that word!
0:42.4	That complex is also known as Little Man syndrome and short man's complex and
0:47.2	little fella baby feet of friction.
0:49.4	I did make up that last one, but ironically, Napoleon was not short, more on that later.
0:55.1	Short taller average that dude left his mark on the history books in a big way.
0:59.1	As a military commander, Napoleon fought in one more battles and almost anyone else in history.
1:03.2	His campaigns are still studied in military academies today.
1:07.1	He was a strategic genius.
1:09.2	He also helped discover the Rosetta Stone and he was directly responsible for doubling the size
1:13.7	of the United States. Bonaparte even came up with the system of odd addresses on one side of
1:18.1	the street and even addresses on the other. Napoleon's life is actually so well documented.
	...

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