130. Defining Toxic Behaviors (with Dr. Alison Cook)

God Hears Her Podcast

Our Daily Bread Ministries

Society & Culture, Bible, Womensministry, Womensbiblestudy, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Women, Female

4.9 • 689 Ratings

🗓️ 26 June 2023

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Guest Bio:

Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist, podcast host, and the author of two books, including her new books, The Best of You (Thomas Nelson 2022) and Boundaries for Your Soul (Thomas Nelson, 2018). For twenty years, Alison has helped women, ministry leaders, couples, and families learn how to heal from painful emotions, develop confidence from the inside out, forge healthy relationships, and fully live out their God-given potential.

Show Summary:

The terms narcissism, gaslighting, and blame shifting get thrown around a lot nowadays, but what do they actually mean? How do we notice those toxic behaviors and protect ourselves from falling into relationships where those behaviors are deemed normal? On this episode of God Hears Her, Join hosts Elisa Morgan and Eryn Adkins as they answer these questions with expert psychologist Dr. Alison Cook.

Notes and Quotes:

“Self-knowledge goes hand-in-hand with God-knowledge.” —Dr. Alison Cook
“[A] narcissist is someone with a pervasive pattern of not being able to empathize with another human.” —Dr. Alison Cook
“Blame shifting is a strategy to put the blame anywhere outside of us.” —Dr. Alison Cook
“Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. It’s a lie that also includes blame shifting that makes the other person feel shame.” —Dr. Alison Cook
“Self-hood is a strong sense of self. Selfishness is only doing what you want and never thinking of someone else. Selflessness, which is what we’re taught as women, is to never think about your needs.” —Dr. Alison Cook
“A healthy relationship starts with a healthy individual.” —Elisa Morgan
“We could argue that the best gift we could give someone is the best version of ourselves.” —Dr. Alison Cook

Verses:

Links:

The Best of You by Dr. Alison Cook: Amazon
Boundaries for Your Soul by Dr. Alison Cook: Amazon
God Hears Her website: https://www.godhearsher.org/
God Hears Her newsletter sign-up: https://www.godhearsher.org/signup
Dr. Alison Cook’s website: https://www.dralisoncook.com/
Subscribe on iTunes! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/god-hears-her-podcast/id1511046507?utm_source=applemusic&utm_medium=godhearsher&utm_campaign=podcast
Elisa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elisamorganauthor/
Eryn’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eryneddy/

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I do think culturally there is a lot of self-centeredness.
0:05.4	There is a lot of quote-unquote narcissistic behavior patterns.
0:09.6	We see it in the church a lot.
0:10.8	We see it, you know, it's hurting people.
0:14.2	So I don't, I think there's a reason why we're throwing that word around a lot.
0:17.9	And I always go back to it, if any of these words, it's someone who's not doing their own
0:21.7	work.
0:28.1	You're listening to God Hears Her, a podcast for Women, where we explore the stunning
0:32.8	truth that God hears you, he sees you, and he loves you because you are his.
0:38.5	Find out how these realities free you today on God Hears Her. Welcome to God Hears Her. I'm Alisa Morgan.
0:46.7	And I'm Aaron Eddie Atkins. How often do you hear the terms narcissism, blame shifting,
0:54.0	and gaslighting? Are you familiar with them? Have you
0:57.5	experienced them? Today we're talking with expert Dr. Allison Cook about all of these behaviors
1:04.1	and how we can identify them in ourselves and in our relationships. She also will share with us
1:10.7	the importance of developing our selfhood
1:13.6	and what that looks like. There's so much to take away from this conversation.
1:18.7	We are so honored to speak with Dr. Allison. I have personally been changed by her work.
1:23.6	And I'm so excited for you to join this conversation with us on God hears her. Let's start
1:29.1	with learning about how Dr. Allison got into the field of psychology. Well, you know, it's interesting
1:35.7	because our greatest strengths also become our biggest blind spots in a way, right? And I was good at it.
1:40.5	I'm high in empathy. I think empathy is my top strength on strength finders.
1:47.4	There was some safety in me that just naturally God gave me.
	...

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