13. “I’m dumb with money and he’s making me feel worse”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Investing, Society & Culture, Relationships, Business

0.0 • 0 Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2021

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A few years ago, Adam spent nine months aggressively paying off $75,000 in debt. He loved it. It gave him a purpose and he was happy to work seven days a week to pay it off quickly. His girlfriend, Elizabeth, has debt, but she isn’t excited by paying it off. Instead, she feels trapped, describing herself as “dumb” with money. (Notice the words she uses to describe herself and her debt: “disgusting,” “bad,” and “stupid.”) Adam’s aggressive approach of constantly talking about money isn’t working. Even though he wants to help, she craves emotional security and support. At one point, as Adam is about to go into yet another long monologue, I cut him off. Sometimes, what worked for you doesn’t work for your partner. Listen in to hear how Adam and Elizabeth navigate their Rich Life. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I've been through all my entire life in the sea, the amount of money that I am accumulating
0:10.9	in debt, like absolutely is disgusting to me and I can't control it.
0:16.9	I had a car issue and I went on a whim with my dad and I bought a new car and didn't
0:22.5	tell him at all.
0:23.8	I just did it within hours of finding out that my car couldn't get fixed.
0:27.8	He wouldn't talk to me because the huge issue.
0:31.4	I don't know, like I just, like, sorry, I don't want to be emotional about it, I just,
0:37.9	I know I can do better.
0:40.3	It's like I can play up this invisible wall that's not making me go forward.
0:49.3	I'm Ramit Sethi and you're listening to The I Will Teach You To Be Rich Podcast.
0:53.8	This is the podcast where I feature real stories about love and money from behind closed
0:58.8	doors.
0:59.8	Today, I'm speaking with Adam and Elizabeth.
1:03.0	Now, both of them have lived with considerable debt, but they've taken two totally different
1:09.2	approaches to dealing with it.
1:11.9	At one point, Adam had $75,000 of debt, but one day, he was sitting down getting his
1:18.7	hair cut and he realized he wanted to make a change.
1:23.2	So, you're going to hear him tell the story of how overnight he decided to pay off his
1:28.0	debt and how he paid it off within nine months, okay?
1:33.5	Compare that to what his partner is going through right now, Elizabeth.
1:39.9	She's living in debt right now.
1:42.0	She's about to start her fourth year of grad school and she's almost $100,000 in debt.
	...

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