Thank you for joining us today on Mormon Stories Podcast. If you value this podcast and want to see it continue, please become a monthly supporter at MormonStories.org.

So yeah, so I met with him and he assured me that it would not affect my employability there at all. And he even promised me that he would have basically that he would have my back.

And then he offered to say a prayer and he said a prayer that was just so beautiful and thoughtful and kind and I still remember how that felt and loved it.

And he said basically it was just you know praying for for just the well-being of my family and support and strength and love for me and it was just a really beautiful gesture on his part that was a really positive experience.

And so I started moving forward feeling like okay well Kim Clark says I'm fine so I should be fine.

Yeah, you know, I place case closed case closed right. I will say when Holly resigned before I jump into that it was really really hard for me when she resigned.

Well largely because I felt like even though even though she I support her leaving the church I know that she needs to do that and I and I

and even though I share many of her concerns right that still are ceiling.

You know that's our marriage and there was something about that that felt really hard to me she was canceling she was in because that's what she was doing was cancel right and did you believe in the ceiling not necessarily at that point I was like I don't know I don't think I did I don't know there's also the fear that she don't go off the end go off the deep end to worship you know be an unfaithful like that's the common belief that I

that a wife would have about a husband who leaves the church right resigns I don't even remember I think I feel I've had to

fleeting thoughts about that but nothing substantive like that hasn't been a big part of my mental energy okay.

But it was really hard and it was also really hard that again we just don't talk about these things no one asked me what that was like for me no one meaning who

would you have wanted to ask her parents how you doing Ryan you know like anyone just anyone it felt really lonely so but it was

just we don't talk about this thing you know yeah so I just wanted to add that and that once she resigned she got the church sent her a

letter and the letter basically threatened her with eternal consequences and the minute she read that she just took the

little she looked right at me said now I know I made the right decision and just tossed it in a garbage and that was it I recycled it.

Pots in the recycling excuse me yeah that's right. So that's right so that was really yeah I I

I when different things are coming up and new things are frustrating with the church that come up I'm surprised

that it gets reprised that was another moment that I thought really guys you're going to sit here and try to shame me and threaten me to come back.

Do you know that's part of the whole problem anyway so that was and it was just please come on and I was really heartbroken because I had hoped that it would be some kind of a generous

something but it wasn't it was an awful letter so I was I was sad about that oh were there pamphlets yeah and who said it well the church like from the church

headquarters yeah I don't remember all right it's it's sort of that letter that says I don't know if they still send it but it's just like you're

...