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Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Mormon Stories Podcast. I'm your host John D'Alene. It is March 17th, 2020.

And we are in the midst of a global pandemic. For those of you who are paying attention this morning, we did a special one hour Mormon Stories podcast episode in response to the outpouring of emails and text messages.

I've received from parents of missionaries, children of temple workers, children of employees of desert industries and elsewhere, super concerned about the way the Mormon Church is responding to the coronavirus or COVID-19.

And it's intense. We are now in the Mormon Stories Podcast Studios in Salt Lake City, Utah following all the recommended suggestions, not handshaking, keeping it small, having washing hands, having PURL on hand, sitting six feet apart, following all the rules, but needing to continue this important effort on Mormon Stories Podcast.

Important effort on Mormon Stories Podcast of sharing stories, important to Mormons. Today we have another epic and important Mormon Stories Podcast interview series that we're going to be doing. Today we have in studio Ryan Nielsen.

Ryan was B.O. U. Idaho faculty for 12 years in the Department of Music. And we are going to be talking about a lot of really important themes in Ryan Nielsen Story.

Ryan was raised in Rexburg, Idaho, which is a thing he ended up again as faculty at B.O. U. Idaho. And he himself, he himself has experienced a lot of depression and anxiety and even suicidality related to his religious observance as a Mormon.

And then also as he navigated a crisis of faith, the mixed faith marriage and trying to stay on at B.O. U. Idaho as faculty, once he started experiencing a lot of harassment and even ecclesiastical abuse at the hands of some members of his bishopric and or state presidency, as he tried to maintain his continuing endorsement to stay as faculty at B.O. U. Idaho.

We're also going to get an in depth look at B.O. U. Idaho administration from the perspective of a faculty. And particularly we're going to be talking about Ryan's interactions with executives at B.O. U. Idaho as he tried to discuss and raise issues around Title IX for any of you who have worked at administrative levels at universities and particularly B.O. U. or Utah State University.

And any of the important universities around the federal government has important regulations regarding the reporting of sexual misconduct, rape and assault and all sorts of those things.

And Ryan has his own story to tell about as he tried to report misconduct of Mormon ecclesiastical leaders, so bishops, bishopric members, state presidency members, as they interacted with B.O. U. Idaho students and faculty and staff, he tried to make important improvements in that regard and ran up against some very difficult interactions from B.O. U. Idaho executives.

We're also going to be talking about Ryan's own faith crisis and how he healed and grew and progressed, how he dealt with depression and even suicidality, how he deconstructed Mormon literalist worldview and reconstructed a more nuanced worldview.

And ultimately how he and his wife have learned to choose love over ideas, people over doctrine and principles. And if all goes well tomorrow, we'll be doing this in two parts and tomorrow we'll have Ryan's wife on to talk about those experiences well.

So this is one of those epic Mormon stories interviews and and I think it's really important because lately as we've we've seen all the LGBTQ honor code notices in the news about B.O. U. Provo B.O. U. Idaho, I just think it's really timely to to just get a sense for what it's like for for those on the inside of the B.O. U. is just trying to to make it all work.

So that is what you're in store for today. I hope you are excited. We have many people joining us live on Facebook as well. So we will be doing our best to incorporate your comments as appropriate. So without any further ado, Ryan Nielsen, welcome to Mormon Stories Podcast. Thanks, John. It's a pleasure to be here. Anything I got wrong or anything you want to add?

No, I'm comfortable with that introduction. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. All right. So I guess it would make sense to begin. And I should just say I am not seeing this on the I am not seeing this on the Mormon Stories Podcast page. So with all that introduction, oh, there it is. I'm seeing it now. All right. So we're good. So Ryan, I'm going to go ahead and I'll just go ahead and just say, I'm going to do it.

So let's begin. Is there anything you want to correct or change your ad regarding the introduction? And if not, let's jump into the beginnings of your Mormon story. How does that sound? That sounds great. Yeah. No, I wouldn't. I feel like that's a fair introduction. I do want to start just with a few.

I thought about framing the conversation today. And you're in turn, right? Yeah. My intent behind doing this. I really hope that I am able to humanize every person in this story.

I really hope that nothing comes across as black and white. And I just want to say, if any of my believing friends are listening to this, I just want them to know that I completely love and support them.

And when they tell me that they feel called to stay in the church, I completely believe them. And to my friends who are at the margins of the church and are choosing to stay and they feel called to stay, I believe them too.

And I feel like their faith is rare and powerful. And largely, I want to share my story to maybe offer some empathy and

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