#122 - Lori Gottlieb: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional health

The Peter Attia Drive

Peter Attia, MD

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Fitness

4.7 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 3 August 2020

⏱️ 90 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and the bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. In this episode, Lori extracts important lessons from her experiences as both a therapist and a patient. The stories Lori shares has provided her the material for insights into living a more fulfilling life. In our conversation, Lori also dispels some misconceptions about therapy, explains the process of big therapeutic breakthroughs, and reveals the most important steps for enduring emotional health.

We discuss:

Lori’s unique path to becoming a therapist [3:00];
Dissecting cadavers—a profound experience during med school [12:30];
The sunk cost fallacy—How Lori was able to walk away from med school [17:15];
Being aware of the gift of life, and other lessons from Lori’s terminally ill patient [24:00];
How underlying pain can manifest in obnoxious behavior [32:45];
Counseling versus therapy [36:15];
The story of John—why men hide their feelings, breaking down his shield, and uncovering his pain [38:30];
“Breaking open”—A shocking revelation about John that tests Lori’s resolve as a therapist [46:30];
Rewriting your story, the recovery process, and the most important step for lasting change [49:00];
The process of many big therapeutic breakthroughs [56:00];
The 2 types of suicidal thoughts, and the importance of talking about it [1:01:00];
The most common issues that bring patients to therapy with Lori [1:02:45];
Clinging to the familiar—why change is so hard [1:05:15];
A story of shame, lack of self-compassion, and self-sabotage [1:07:00];
The importance of managing mental health to reduce unnecessary suffering [1:15:45];
Dispelling the misconceptions about therapy [1:23:15]; and
More.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to the Drive Podcast.
0:13.0	I'm your host, Peter Atia.
0:14.8	This podcast, my website, and my weekly newsletter, all focus on the goal of translating
0:18.7	the science of longevity into something accessible for everyone.
0:22.4	Our goal is to provide the best content in health and wellness, full stop, and we've
0:26.6	assembled a great team of analysts to make this happen.
0:29.4	If you enjoy this podcast, we've created a membership program that brings you far more
0:33.2	in-depth content if you want to take your knowledge of this space to the next level.
0:37.3	At the end of this episode, I'll explain what those benefits are, or if you want to learn
0:41.0	more now, head over to peteratiamd.com forward slash subscribe.
0:46.3	Now without further delay, here's today's episode.
0:51.0	I guess this week is Laurie Gottlib.
0:53.8	Laurie is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times best-selling book, maybe you
0:58.2	should talk to someone, a book that I've read twice.
1:00.7	And basically the second time I read it was right after the first time I read it, but
1:03.7	more on that in a moment.
1:05.5	She also writes a weekly column in the Atlantic titled, Dear Therapist.
1:10.2	Laurie also has a new podcast, Dear Therapists, that's plural, hosted by Laurie and her friend
1:16.1	Guy Winch.
1:17.6	Their podcast allows you to sit in on some of the intimate, raw, and transformative sessions
1:22.1	as they guide patients through the everyday challenges of daily life while offering the
1:26.9	kind of behind the scenes insights into what makes us all humans.
	...

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