I'm Major Jackson and this is the slowdown.

And this is the slowdown.

This summer, I returned to the Danish philosopher soaring Kierkegaard. I came upon this quote just when I decided to make some life changes.

He said, if I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for

wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential for the eye which ever young and ardent

sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints. Possibility never.

Ever since, I pondered what it means to resist pleasure.

Who would want to do that? Other than those who have taken monastic vows of chastity,

poverty, and obedience. Why is it that Kirkegaard said possibility never disappoints?

What does it mean to live on this edge of one's hunger or becoming, yet not act.

After a long hike, I typically enjoy a cold bear.

It's refreshing and cooling.

It satisfyingly ends a long morning of steep ascents.

Drinking a beer for me is not a temptation, but a ritual of completion.

Yet, after a few sips, I find that the joy of drinking dissipates.

Often the beer doesn't taste as good as the first quaff. This fleetingness points to the fact that we are never infinitely satiated.

Fulfilling the desire is infinitely satiated.

Fulfilling the desire is always lesser in comparison to the actual desire.

Over the past few months, I have denied myself certain habits of consumption. Some of my life changes were owed to a spiritual audit, to being awake to the deprivations in the world. I no longer wish to accept

other people's sufferings and lack without some act of solidarity. I enjoyed practicing self-control,

committing to health goals, but I also argued more with myself. It isn't that my pleasures are inherently bad or that I need to

resist them. I just felt a highlighted dissonance.

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