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Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger. On the Jordan Harbinger show, we decode the stories,

secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into

practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. Our mission

is to help you become a better-informed, more critical thinker through long-form conversations with a variety of amazing folks, from spies to CEOs, athletes, authors, thinkers, and performers, even the occasional astronaut, hacker, real-life pirate, or special operator. And if you're new to the show or you want to tell your friends about the show, I suggest our episode starter packs. These are collections of our favorite episodes on topics like persuasion and negotiations, psychology and geopolitics, disinformation, China, North Korea, crime and cults, and more. That'll help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on the show. Just visit Jordan Harbinger.com slash start or search for us in your Spotify app to get started.

I never thought anyone would try to break down the science of validation, but it turns out this isn't just some therapist trick.

It's a skill that can make you more influential, improve your relationships, lower conflict,

even change people's behavior for the better.

Today, Dr. Carolyn Fleck joins us to explain how validation actually works from a tactical

level, from building rapport in our personal lives or in the office, to getting through to teenagers,

diffusing conflict, even how interrogators use this set of skills when questioning terrorists. We'll

explore why invalidating someone can shut down their recall and problem-solving abilities. We'll uncover

how to develop your own validation skills and use them in practice

and the mistakes most of us make when we try.

And yes, we'll clear up the difference between empathy and sympathy

and why validation has nothing to do with chasing likes on Instagram and social media.

So if you've ever wanted to connect more deeply, resolve conflicts faster,

and be the person that others open up to,

...