118 How To Engage Someone's Story Part 2

The Place We Find Ourselves

Adam Young

Hope, Christian, Christianity, Healing, Story, Trauma, Psychotherapy, Mental Health, Restoration, Heart, Sexualabuse, Health & Fitness, Adamyoung, Therapy, Attachment, Interpersonalneurobiology, Religion & Spirituality, Limbicsystem, Neuroscience

4.8 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2022

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This is part 2 of a series of episodes on how to engage another person’s story. Today, we look at principles 3-7 of effective story engagement. Principle 3: Use the exquisite instrument that is your body. Principle 4: Always be monitoring the storyteller’s affect. Principle 5: Your right brain matters much more than your left brain when you are engaging someone’s story. Principle 6: Remember that there is always a reason for human behavior. Principle 7: Repairing rupture is more important than engaging their story perfectly.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to the place we find ourselves podcast. I'm Adam Young and this is part two
0:06.5	of a four-part series of episodes on how to engage another person's story. In part one,
0:14.2	we looked at the first two principles of effective story engagement. And today, we will look at
0:21.2	five more principles for you to keep in mind when you are engaging someone's story.
0:26.7	But before diving in, if the podcast has been helpful to you, I want to invite you to consider
0:33.6	supporting it financially. The way you can do that is to go to my website and click on support
0:39.8	the podcast. There are a couple of options for making a donation. Thank you for considering it.
0:46.8	Okay, today let's start with principle three. The third principle of engaging someone's story
0:55.3	is to use the exquisite instrument that is your body. Your body is going to give you a lot of helpful
1:07.5	data that you want to pay attention to when you are listening to someone's story and when you
1:13.2	are engaging with someone's story. Your body is a lot smarter than you think it is. Your body has a
1:20.9	way of knowing things that your cerebral cortex doesn't know. And the way to access what your body
1:30.3	knows is to put yourself into the story. To put yourself into the story, you have to get inside
1:41.4	the story. So for example, if this story is about a seven-year-old girl waiting for her mom to
1:48.0	pick her up after school, you need to become a seven-year-old girl sitting on the curb outside
1:54.8	of your elementary school. What do you see? You see all the other kids slowly being picked up
2:01.2	and leaving. What do you feel? As 10 minutes, become 20 minutes. What do you hear? You hear less and
2:10.8	less chatter of kids. More and more stillness. More and more quiet. As you are left sitting there all
2:18.5	alone. In other words, you have to become seven again. How does a seven-year-old experience those
2:29.2	sights and sounds? Remember, the girl in the story that you have just listened to is seven. She's not
2:36.0	43. So here's how Dan Allender puts it. He says, as I listen to a story, I let my imagination
2:44.8	see what is happening. I don't merely hear words. I let words create scenes and images. It is like
	...

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