America used to love the TV sitcom theme song. Rather they tolerated because they wanted to get to the jokes.

What crazy thing is Monroe gonna say today? I don't know. I gotta watch these low-quality San Francisco established shots in these awesome too close for comfort opening credits again.

TV used to be the great Uniter and the TV theme song was the glue.

Even if you missed it because you didn't have your VCR programmed,

you could still hum the theme song to Too Close for Comfort

with your friends around the water cooler.

You know, that kind of thing. Also, if you had a VCR that was programmable in 1982, you're pretty hot shit.

Oh yeah.

Especially if you knew how to use it.

For you kids too young to have seen the show, too close for comfort was the sitcom starring the Anchorman from Mary Tyler Moore, the Foxy Girl from the Warriors, and the very gay guy from the 1980s Hollywood

squares.

Then TV theme songs fell out of fashion because writers were like, wait, I could use that

minute for two more jokes.

And I blame that a decline on TV as a cultural uniter,

not on DVRs or streaming.

I blame it on folks shortchanging the opening theme song.

So today we're going to celebrate TV themes,

but not from any shows that exist.

We'll listen to the theme songs.

We'll listen to the theme song and develop the show

right before your very eyes. We'll listen to the theme song and develop the show right before your very eyes.

We're going to find a home sitcoms for these orphan theme songs.

...