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We Can Do Hard Things

110. Why Grief – like Love – is Forever with Marisa Renee Lee

We Can Do Hard Things

Glennon Doyle & Audacy

Society & Culture, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.841.1K Ratings

🗓️ 5 July 2022

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

1. Practical tips for guiding friends and family through your grief–and the permission slips to give yourself. 2. Why there is no such thing as grief etiquette–and how it’s less about what you say and more about what you do. 3. What it finally took for Marisa to surrender to the fact that she was not in control of her love or her grief. 4. How to integrate love and grief in order to find joy again after loss–and how, 12 years after her mother’s death, Marisa includes her mom in her son’s life. 5. The life-changing perspective shift that Marisa gained from a conversation with Trayvon Martin’s mother Sybrina Fulton. About Marisa: Marisa Renee Lee is a called upon grief advocate, entrepreneur, and author of the upcoming book “Grief is Love.” Deemed “the friend we all wish we had in times of need,” by Elaine Welteroth, Marisa is able to utilize research-based advice and wisdom to help others navigate the complicated and challenging emotions we face when experiencing loss, offering unique insights for women and Black communities. She is no stranger to grief herself. In 2008, after a lengthy battle, she lost her mother to cancer. Shortly after, she lost her fertility, a pregnancy, and most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what healing truly requires outside the limited roadmap often handed to us by societal expectations. In the end, Marisa found that if we can own and honor what we've lost, we can have a beautiful and joyful life amid grief. In addition to her work in the grief space, Lee is a former appointee in the Obama White House and CEO of Beacon Advisors, a mission-driven consulting firm primarily focused on racial equity. She is a rabble-rouser of social healing: former managing director of My Brother's Keeper Alliance; co-founder of the digital platform Supportal; and founder of The Pink Agenda, a national organization dedicated to raising money for breast cancer care, research, and awareness. Lee also regularly contributes to Glamour, Vogue, MSNBC, and CNN and serves as an expert for Ritual's wellbeing app. She is a Harvard graduate and an avid home cook. Marisa lives in the Washington DC area with her husband Matt, their newborn son Bennett, and their dog, Sadie. TW: @MarisaReneeLee IG: @marisareneelee To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

We've stopped asking directions, so places they've never been.

0:11.7

Hello, lovebugs. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things.

0:16.2

Really grateful that you came back to visit us for the next hour.

0:21.4

We recently did an episode with our dear friend, Dr. Brunei Brown, and she

0:25.4

talked to us about the power of normalization.

0:29.2

She was telling us a story about helping an aging sick parent, and she was

0:36.8

talking to us about how she talked about that process to her own children, and she

0:42.2

said that one night she sat them down, and she said, it's wonderful, it's

0:46.0

beautiful, I wouldn't have it any other way, and sometimes I find myself just

0:51.1

wishing it would be over. And she talked about telling her children that

0:58.4

truth of that feeling that she had everyone's not with her mother, and called it

1:04.0

normalization, and I thought, God, what a beautiful thing to do for someone

1:07.8

else. Just tell them the whole truth about what an experience is like for

1:12.4

you so that in the future, when they have that experience, and they have those

1:17.0

feelings, no matter how dark or weird or unacceptable they are, they will know

1:20.8

they are acceptable. So they won't have shame added to an already extremely

1:25.6

difficult experience. Normalization is the more I think about it, I just think it

1:31.9

might be the most powerful tool we can use to help each other navigate the human

1:36.2

experience. And that's what we're trying to do here. So today we're going to do

1:41.6

that with grief. Podsquatters have been asking for an episode about grief for a

1:48.9

very long time. I get it. I want to know how to grieve right. I want to know

1:54.9

how to crush grieving. Okay. Tell myself there's a way. There's a way to be so

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