Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Bruce podcast. That was almost my radio voice. I don't know what that accent was supposed to be, but it actually doesn't matter what country it was supposed to be from because it was awful no matter

the country. So welcome, one of the skills that continues to be honed and developed because I think

it might be a never-ending. If I get to the end, I'll be like, cheat, I did it. I'm a monk on a mountain

sitting here and I'm floating in the clouds, I'll be like, she did it. I'm a monk on a mountain sitting here and I'm floating in the

clouds and I don't need to take mushrooms or anything because I am a mushroom. If I get to that

place, I'll let you know, but I'm certainly not there. But one of the greatest skills that has

helped my relational life is mindfulness, is meditation, but really,

I don't, you know, I'm going to get in it, is mindful awareness, is recognizing my physical

experience in conversation when I'm flooded and I can't use my voice, even the fact that I might

need space in order for my body to calm down, practices of breathing

to regulate, all of these things, I have to tell you, our continued process. I notice now,

so initially when I would get into any form of disagreement conflict, and I'm talking like

it would be heightened in a relational, like romantic relationship.

But that actual same somatic body experience would occur with my, you know, with my family,

with work in my former job.

You start to see that it's the physical response to conflict prevents us

from using our brain. It really does. When you're flooded, when you go into fight, flight,

freeze, fawn, you're in a state where your prefrontal cortex doesn't work. So problem solving,

you can't actually listen when you're flooded. I mean, let's be honest. And I was listening

actually to Harriet Lerner on Brunay Brown's podcast recently on Why You Won't Apologize. It was so fantastic.

If you haven't read her book, Why Won't You apologize? You must. And you listen to that podcast episode. It's great. I hope Renee pumps

my podcast on hers. Wouldn't that be dope if she was like, I was listening to Mark Rose podcast.

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