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Modern Wisdom

#1041 - Dr Debra Lieberman - Why Don’t You Have Sex With Your Sister?

Modern Wisdom

Chris Williamson

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.74.6K Ratings

🗓️ 3 January 2026

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dr. Debra Lieberman is an evolutionary psychologist, professor, and researcher. Why don’t we feel sexual attraction toward our siblings or close family? Evolution seems to have hard-wired the brain to prevent inbreeding, a pattern shared with many other animals. So how does this mechanism work, and what are the moral or ethical arguments surrounding incest? Expect to learn why evolution has designed you to not want sex with your sister, how animals actually detect who their relatives are, what the high level explanation is for why humans don’t want sex with their kin, the moral argument if it is okay if two adult siblings had consensual sex, how big the actual genetic risk is for first cousins, what crying adn tears actually communicate from an evolutionary perspective and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/deals⁠ New pricing since recording: Function is now just $365, plus get $25 off at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Get a free bottle of D3K2, an AG1 Welcome Kit, and more when you first subscribe at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/books⁠ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: ⁠https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom⁠ Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp⁠ - Get In Touch: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast⁠ Email: ⁠https://chriswillx.com/contact⁠ - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Why don't people want to have sex with their sister?

0:03.6

Or their brother or other family members.

0:06.6

It ends up that humans have a natural inbreeding avoidance system that develops pretty reliably and most folks exposed to the cues, which I term kinship cues, that are available during childhood. Right. Well, what about animals?

0:26.1

Because I understand there is this label, that's your brother, that's your sister. How do animals

0:33.3

actually detect who their relatives are? We just take it for granted in humans. You can point and say,

0:38.5

but animals don't have language. So how do they know? This is a really good question. It's always

0:42.9

fun to open up an interview with incest, incest avoidance. Incest of you, yeah. Yes. And so,

0:49.8

so it's a really good question. How do we know who our close genetic relatives are? And why is that important? Well, first, it's important to know who your close genetic relatives are not only for the purpose of not mating with them because mating with close genetic relatives can cause a host of problems. So it leads to less healthy offspring, for instance, and offspring who might suffer from greater genetic

1:14.6

mutations.

1:16.9

So evolution engineered into our psychology, a very sophisticated system to allow us to detect

1:23.0

relatives, close genetic relatives, and develop a sexual aversion towards them. We don't even

1:28.6

typically think of them as possible mating partners. It's not foolproof, but this is what tends to

1:35.5

happen. And the other reason why we should have a system for naturally detecting and automatically

1:40.2

detecting genetic relatedness is for altruism. So being nice to your close genetic

1:44.9

relatives follows from Hamilton's theory of inclusive fitness. We're nice to other people as a function.

1:50.1

One way altruism can evolve is by being nice to people who tend to share genes by common

1:55.6

descent. But you ask the question of, so how do we do this? And because humans aren't the only species

2:02.5

that encountered this problem of avoiding mating with close genetic relatives for biological

2:08.4

purposes. And so other animals without language or culture, they use cues, cues that correlated

2:15.9

with another individual being a close genetic relative in that species' evolutionary history.

2:23.9

So whether it's being part of the same litter or a smell or imprinting on a particular place or a marking, these are the kinds of things that evolution can engineer to help guide kin detection.

2:38.8

Humans have language, and so language and culture map very nicely onto these systems, but

...

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