Welcome back to the place we find ourselves podcasts. I'm Adam Young and this is part two of my conversation with Bethany Robbins about talking to your children about sex.

In the previous episode, Bethany and I shared two stories about how our parents talk to us about sex.

Today, we get very practical about what to say to your children and what gets in the way of creating an environment where your children can grow into a healthy sense of their own sexuality.

Thank you so much for listening. Here's part two of my conversation with Bethany.

Alright, I want to transition now to away from these stories, though we may refer back to them, and into some real practical stuff.

And Bethany and I are just going to do kind of back and forth on this.

When you talk to your children about sex, here are the key points, at least you need to at least cover these key points.

And there are five of them and we'll just go back and forth. So I'll take the first one. You have to tell them what sex is.

And you have to use correct terminology, accurate language. It's important to understand that oftentimes abusers will use inaccurate names for body parts, silly language, vulgar language.

And this makes it very difficult for young children to report abuse because they don't know what the right language is.

So when you talk to your kids about sex, number one is you have to tell them what it is and you have to use correct terminology.

And again, if you're uncomfortable with saying things like a man puts his penis in a woman's vagina.

If you're uncomfortable saying that, you need to engage that discomfort. It's not your fault. It's part of your story. There's a reason you're uncomfortable with it.

But why not engage that so that you can get to a place where you're regulated and comfortable using that language with your children because they need to hear that language.

All right, that's number one. Number two, Bethany. Yeah, number two, you have to tell them that sex feels good.

It's not growth. It doesn't have to be painful. It can be immensely pleasurable. And that pleasure is meant for both people.

Okay, so a lot of the popular books on sex sexuality, especially written by Christians for adults of the 80s, 90s and 2000s have very little language about female pleasure.

Many of them lack that teaching that that language all together lacking.

Right. And so I'm interrupting you, but sorry to interrupt you, but just to state something that's so obvious here, here's the dilemma with that.

In God's immense creativity, he actually created the clitoris, which is the only organ. It's the only body part that has no function other than sexual pleasure.

And yet in these books, go ahead, look in the 80s, 90s, 2000s, the books that were published, the Christian books that are published about sex, I challenge you to find sentences that rejoice in or name or talk about female sexual pleasure.

And yet there's the clitoris, which is a sole purpose is sexual pleasure. So sorry, I interrupt you, but I had to add that.

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