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Modern Wisdom

#1014 - Dr Marc Brackett - The Life-Changing Skill of Emotional Regulation

Modern Wisdom

Chris Williamson

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.74.6K Ratings

🗓️ 1 November 2025

⏱️ 91 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dr. Marc Brackett is a professor at Yale University, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and author. Why is it so hard to actually feel our emotions? In a world that tells us to “be more vulnerable,” many of us don’t even know what that really means. Are we being unregulated when we express emotion, or are we finally being human? How can we reconnect with what we feel so we can actually understand ourselves better? Expect to learn why only 1 in 5 adults can name more than three emotions they feel regularly, what emotional intelligence actually is, why we were taught such few emotional skills, how we can tell the difference between real regulation and repressed emotion, if it is possible to be too self-aware, how you can learn to reframe uncomfortable emotions—like anxiety or envy—into signals instead of shame and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get a 15% discount & free shipping on Manscaped’s shavers at https://manscaped.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM15) Get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and your first month for free at https://join.whoop.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59 #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Only one in five adults can name more than three emotions they feel regularly. Why do you think that is?

0:08.0

Blumly, I think it's because we don't have an emotion education. We just ignore that aspect of our lives.

0:16.0

What does that mean? What does an emotion education mean?

0:21.6

It means that from preschool to high school and even when we're in a workplace or in college, we are building our emotion skills,

0:30.6

you know, vocabulary, for example. Just to give you one example, I'm going to ask you right now,

0:35.6

what's the difference between anger and

0:38.3

disappointment?

0:40.3

Ooh.

0:42.5

Anger is fiery and feels like you're on the front foot.

0:51.0

Disappointment for me is the color of red,'s the color of red for me orangey red uh disappointment is

0:58.6

sort of a blue gray like a dark purple blue gray and it is it's sort of closed and it feels

1:07.1

like i'm on the back foot it feels like i'm sat in a very low couch. I'm aware

1:11.5

that's not a particularly precise definition. You're a creative type, that's for sure.

1:18.6

And all beautiful kind of metaphors and, but like I really want to know like the psychological

1:24.2

definition or difference between the two.

1:28.3

So what do you think?

1:28.9

I'll hand that.

1:33.0

A psychological difference or definition between the two.

1:40.3

Functionally, anger is somebody has stepped over a boundary and you need to exclaim loudly enough to ensure that they know that they have crossed some sort of threshold.

1:46.0

It's kind of like being your own law enforcement in a way. Disappointment is around hopes, expectations, and those

1:52.9

not being met. Maybe that's that. That was much better. That was great. You know, you're on your verge of being an emotion scientist.

2:03.3

Yes.

...

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