#1007 - Dr K HealthyGamer - The Toxic Fuel That’s Destroying Your Motivation

Modern Wisdom

Chris Williamson

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 4.6K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2025

⏱️ 173 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dr K is a psychiatrist, Harvard Medical School instructor, co-founder of Healthy GamerGG, Twitch streamer and a YouTuber. Why are we driven by what destroys us? Using anger or jealousy can spark our motivation, but when it goes too far, it consumes us. What are healthier ways to stay motivated, and how do we find peace instead of pressure Expect to learn why mean have become less dangerous and more useless, why toxic motivation is on the rise and how to not fall into it’s trap, why incel violence is not a bad as it could be, how to structure your motivation so it’s actually healthy, why so many men are obsessed with penis size, what women actually find attractive in a man, if having a dad-bod makes you a better dad, the dangers of bro science, why men cry at certain point in weddings and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D, and more from AG1 at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Timestamps: (0:00) Toxic Fuel Motivates Us (11:29) Why Men Go from Sad to Mad (22:24) Are Porn and Video Games Making Men Useless? (30:16) Why We Need Different Fuel at Different Stages (40:09) The Benefits of Beginning Again (50:04) Harnessing the Power of Meditation (01:04:18) Why We Should Stretch Ourselves (01:17:06) Does Muscle Mass Lead to Unsuccessful Relationships? (01:33:27) Why are Dad Bods Attractive? (01:39:17) Are Acts of Kindness Motivated by Toxic Fuel? (01:48:55) Sl*t-Shaming and Simp-Shaming are Mostly Intrasexual (01:59:21) Why We Use Boundaries as Protection (02:07:42) How Do Men and Women Differ in Relationships? (02:17:46) What Makes Grooms Cry? (02:22:36) ChatGPT Tells You What You Want to Hear (02:30:50) How to Find Your True Self (02:45:01) Chris’ Journey With His Sense of Self (02:51:07) Where to Find Dr K Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59 #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	All right, before we get started, I am going on tour, my live show, self-discovery, that's sold out in the UK, sold out in Australia, is coming to you. If you're in New York, Boston, Chicago, Austin, Salt Lake City, or Denver, you can get your tickets right now at Chris Williamson. Live. Toronto sold out, L.A. sold out, Vancouver sold out, and Nashville, all sold out already. This is the final time I'll ever do this show. It's an hour and a half long. It's a solo show with me on stage. There's a Q&A at the end. Zach Talander's warming up with music for me. It's going to be awesome. Come out and see it. Tickets are limited. Chris Williamson. Dot live. Talk to me about toxic fuel. So if we look at motivation, a lot of the way that we motivate ourselves is using
0:41.1	certain emotions, certain ideas of who we want to be.
0:44.3	Like, I suck and I don't want to suck.
0:49.3	I need to be better.
0:50.4	So I'll motivate myself using toxic fuel.
0:53.4	So these are motivators that will actually get you from point A to point B or maybe even point Z, but will cost you a lot in the process. So a good example of toxic fuel is I want to live up to the expectations that people place on me. Another excellent toxic fuel is anger. So a lot of people
1:13.7	will feel really motivated when they're angry. And then if the anger goes away, then their motivation
1:20.1	declines. And so you're sort of stuck in the situation where the things that you need to motivate
1:26.2	you are things that will cost you a lot in the process.
1:30.3	And the main reason that we sort of do that is because the sources of toxic fuel tend to be, neurologically speaking, the most powerful motivators.
1:39.8	So if we look at like anger, right, anger is a core survival mechanism.
1:45.7	Even things like fear,
1:49.3	people will be motivated by fear all the time that they don't really connect these dots. But if I think about I don't want people to be disappointed in me, I don't want to screw up, right?
1:54.3	So if you have those kinds of thoughts, I see this all the time in the medical students that I work
1:59.1	with because they're very high neuroticism.
2:02.5	They don't want to fail tests.
2:09.1	So that fear pushes them to stay in the library on Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night for a test on Monday.
2:13.9	So it gets the job done, neurologically really, really potent.
2:18.9	But wires your motivational system in a way that will burn you out.
2:20.3	Why?
2:23.1	Why? Why does it burn you out?
2:23.4	Yes.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Chris Williamson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Chris Williamson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.