10 Ways to Respond to Backtalk Without Damaging Your Relationship

Raising Good Humans

Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Toddler, Sinai, Mount, Doctor, Mother, Science, Dear, Baby, Motherhood, Parenting, Psychology, Pressman, Education, Humans, Seedlings, Kids & Family, Adolescence, Children, Child, Childhood, Parent, Good, Raising, Infant, Media, Aliza

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 20 June 2025

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today's episode I dive into one of the most triggering parenting challenges: backtalk. From eye rolls to attitude, I’m sharing 10 practical, research-backed ways to respond to backtalk without damaging your connection with your child. From toddlers asserting independence to teens testing boundaries, I’ll share developmentally informed approaches to help you regulate your response, set respectful limits, and foster more effective communication. Let’s turn those moments of sass into opportunities for teaching respect and emotional regulation—for both of you.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:09.4	Welcome to Raising Good Humans.
0:12.0	I'm Dr. Elisa Pressman and today it's just us.
0:16.0	And I'm talking about 10 ways to respond to backtalk without undermining your relationship.
0:22.7	Okay, so imagine your 9-year-old rolls their eyes and says, whatever, mom, or bra,
0:31.3	or something that really bothers you because you've simply asked them to clear their plate.
0:37.4	Or your teenager
0:39.0	gets a curfew and they tell you that you are totally ridiculous and disconnected from the
0:46.0	planet and nothing that you're doing is right and you're a bad mother. For example,
0:51.6	so today we're talking about backtalk. And I understand, because I get this a lot,
0:58.1	it's frustrating when you feel like you want to have a connection with your child. You want to do all
1:05.7	the things that make sure that you're attuned and appropriate and you want to set limits and boundaries, but then you
1:12.7	lose it because you feel disrespected because of backtalk. So you want to do something.
1:18.8	But losing it and kind of meeting your young person in where they are with backtalk or
1:26.2	taking it really seriously can actually undermine your
1:28.7	relationship. It doesn't teach them to be more respectful. And it kind of makes you feel bad.
1:34.9	So I want to give you 10 other ways that you could respond. And when I say back talk,
1:40.3	I'm talking about like sassiness or being fresh, disrespectful, argumentative, eye-rolling.
1:49.6	Some people really don't get bothered by eye-rolling. For some reason, eye-rolling is a pain
1:53.7	point for me. Arguing with requests, constantly pushing back, using a lot of sarcasm, being condescending, refusing, just sort of like
2:05.2	the make-me attitude or blame shifting. Those are typically the back-talking pain points that I hear
2:14.3	about. So first, I want to put it in developmental context so that you can not necessarily
	...

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