#060: Please Don't Pee on My Toga

The Shallow End

John Elliott and Lindsay Schnebly

Society & Culture, Comedy, History

4.9 • 612 Ratings

🗓️ 26 July 2023

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Join us for a rollercoaster of emotions in this episode of The Shallow End as we delve into two wildly contrasting tales that will leave you in stitches and fuming with indignation. Our first segment recounts the hilarious and jaw-droppingly silly misadventures of one man's laundry day gone horribly wrong by forgetting the basic dos and don'ts of laundry by employing absurd shortcuts that involve highly flammable substances. This laundry escapade turns into a sidesplitting comedy of errors. Sometimes, all it takes is one person's stupidity to turn an ordinary chore into an epic comedy. In the second segment, we shift gears to a more serious but equally compelling story of a man who embarks on a quest to uncover alleged price gouging at his local dollar store. Convinced that he's being shortchanged on savings, this bargain hunter takes it upon himself to violently confront the store employee. It doesn't end well. Join us as we delve into the realm of consumer rights, price analysis, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with trying to save a few cents on a can of soup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	It began long ago, two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and little league practice.
0:09.2	Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for stories where things would go horribly wrong.
0:18.4	Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up. You're in the shallow end with
0:23.6	Schnebly and Toff. Episode 60, good grief of the shallow end. Six zero, all in a row. That's,
0:32.3	it's sequential. It's really quite a coincidence that all 60 episodes happened in order.
0:40.5	We're number 60 right now, and this is labeled number 60.
0:43.6	What are the odds of that?
0:44.8	I think it's incredible.
0:45.9	It must be some labeling mistake.
0:47.5	I think considering that we all understand that time is not linear, it's very amateurish for you guys, really.
0:56.0	It is, actually. You're right. We're better than this. We're much better than this. Plus, birds aren't real and this is number 60.
1:01.6	Yeah. We've got that. We lost a tremendous treasure in America this past week with the passing of
1:08.0	Tony Bennett. Oh, we did. And I had a kind of a cool story, if I do say so myself.
1:14.6	Back in 2012, I was visiting my buddy Paul in New York.
1:20.2	And we were at an art store on 57th Street, not far from Columbus Circle.
1:25.9	And we're, it's Paul and me. And Paul's Jeff D. Domenico and Jeff's son, Matthew.
1:33.8	Matthew was, I think, maybe 12 at the time, an aspiring artist.
1:39.4	And the four of us are milling around in this art store.
1:42.7	And I hear my friend Paul say quietly,
1:46.9	ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tony Bennett.
1:49.2	And I look up and by God, there's Tony Bennett in a white bucket hat and kind of a canvas coat
1:56.9	and khaki slacks and running shoes.
	...

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