Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson. Every week I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

We'll use the best of psychology to help you be happy, healthy, and most importantly,

yourself. Just living in the world opens you up to criticism, but doing anything in the public eye,

from writing a blog to performing your stand-up comedy to coaching your kid soccer team will invite judgment

and criticism. And doing anything truly innovative will guarantee it. So how to brace yourself. This week by request from

listener Carolyn here are 12 ways to deal with four different kinds of

criticism. First how to deal with angry criticism.

First, how to deal with angry criticism.

You've made someone PO or someone is mad already, and now they're letting you have

it.

So tip number one, dig for the softer emotion beneath their anger.

Angry criticism almost always means the critic feels hurt in some way. We've talked

about this on the podcast before, but it bears repeating.

Anger is a secondary emotion.

It's a reaction to a softer primary emotion underneath, like hurt, shame, guilt, or humiliation.

People get hurt first, and then they get angry.

But when you listen beneath the anger for the softer emotion,

it's much easier to feel sympathetic towards them.

And while it's hard to feel sorry for someone who's wrapped her feedback with prickly barbs,

try to think about what button you might have pushed.

And then do this. Tip number two, be noble.

Kill them with kindness. Well, maybe not kill them, but throw them off balance by

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