I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and this is episode 20 of the savvy psychologist.

I'll help you meet life challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

We'll use the best of psychology to help you be happy, healthy, and most importantly,

yourself.

Last week we talked about and most importantly, yourself.

Last week we talked about healthy and less healthy ways of seeking solitude.

In part two of this series, we'll discuss how to tell the difference between satisfied solitude and fearful avoidance.

Plus six ways to ease your social fears.

If you're confused about the difference between rejuvenating solitude and fear-driven

avoidance, here are four questions to ask yourself.

Number one, how do you feel when the phone rings?

Likewise, how do you feel when you're invited to an event? When someone wants your

company, pay attention to your reaction. If you experience dread, resistance, or physical symptoms like a racing heart, shallow breathing, or a clenched stomach, these may be signs of social anxiety or past trauma. However, letting that call go to

voicemail because you're immersed in something else or simply deciding not to

answer the phone for a while is intentional, not avoidant.

Number two, when you get some time alone, how do you feel?

If the answer is rejuvenated, energized, or otherwise positive,

then rock on my introverted friend.

If the answer is relieved, look a little closer.

I don't have to go to that party and feel awkward.

I didn't have to talk to him.

No one noticed I wasn't there to talk to him. Whoof, no one noticed I wasn't there.

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